i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
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