Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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