Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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