i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize