"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
