id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
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