That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
