You can't special order awesome
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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