Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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