new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Randomize
