TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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