Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
