physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Randomize
