I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
