Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
