Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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