A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Randomize
