Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
