glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize