there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
