totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
