if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
