Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
NoShamevember. You game?
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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