were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
be right there i have to get my cape
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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