D3 body, D1 cock
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
she peed on how many people?
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
i've created a new STD.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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