Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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