Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize