How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
