I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
