If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
