It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
