I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize