and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
