Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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