new low.... made out with someone while peeing
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
