u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
