My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Randomize
