My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
