paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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