It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
