You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
