Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Randomize
