What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
