I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
