Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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