i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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