and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
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