I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Randomize
