Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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