uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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