Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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