I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
