If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
