We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
