Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
