i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
