He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
