At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
