I hate your face
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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