I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
