Three words: puerto rican gang bang
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I think my moral compass just broke
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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