is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
