Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
