Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
