I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
