Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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