Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
