id be glad to
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
