The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
