its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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