I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
