like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
