Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Randomize
