i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
